In a little less than 24 hours, the winner of the Battle of the Sexes will be crowned. The trash talk, excuses, and accusations will seize as the winners will, without question, lay to rest the argument who really is the stronger sex.
Although both sides feel they are the clear favorite, let’s breakdown the phases to see who really has the advantage.
Phase I – Endurance
Clearly the edge goes to the women. Night in and night out they pack the gym for the group classes while the Spartans barely get 20 guys two days per week for Spartacus. The women have at least 15 spin classes throughout the week while Manly Man’s Cardio can barely fill 3. And to make matters worse, the Ageless Road Runners are almost all women. Does anyone else see a pattern?
Phase 2 – Trivia
No matter how many times we explain the Spartacus workout, half the class screws it up. Those classes run about as smooth as sandpaper. Needless to say, advantage women.
Phase 3 – Teamwork
If you’ve ever watched a Spartacus, I can guarantee you’ll see two things: 1) Guys performing the wrong exercises at the wrong times and screwing up the order of the exercises for the entire class. 2) Someone, usually Tommy, yelling at someone for screwing things up. Clear advantage women.
Phase 4 – Skill
If there is a phase that the guys have an advantage, it’s phase 4. All of those years of bowling, playing washers, throwing darts, shooting baskets, and hitting baseballs may finally pay off.
Phase 5 – Problem Solving
Do we really need to say anything? Is it not obvious? Advantage women.
Women 4 Men 1
Otherwise known as the asterisk, the outlier, or the anomaly, it’s when a seemingly disadvantage may actually end up being an advantage.
The guys are just dumb enough to truly believe they can win. I honestly believe some of them would rather die on Saturday than lose to the women. When you combine ignorance with an iron will, you have a formidable competitor no matter how many advantages the favorite has. How many underdogs have won when everyone, including the experts, said they didn’t have a chance?
Stupidity may not be that bad after all.
All participants need to meet at the gym by 9:45. We will be done with contest by noon. We’ll have hot dogs, drinks, and snacks at the gym afterwards. Even if you aren’t participating, we’d love to have grill out with us and cheer on your team. It’s supposed to be a beautiful day. See you on the battlefield.